Substitute (sub sti toot) n. A person acting in the place of another

When I moved to Arizona four years ago, I had just finished my Bachelors degree and was planning on working in a related field while pursuing my Masters degree in Social Work. While I was looking for a job, I started substitute teaching and was soon the most requested sub in the district. The following year, I was offered a contract (salary and benefits) if I would sub exclusively at this school district and take any long term positions that needed to be filled. I didn't have a background in education and certainly didn't have a teaching credential but I thought, "sure, I can do that!" Obviously, I didn't have any idea what was going to be required of me and I have had some intense on the job training. Anyway, here it is four years later and I'm still doing it and although I am getting my Masters degree right now, it is not in Social Work, it is in Education. I have had some of the most interesting experiences over the years. Here are some of the highlights:

* I have taught Band, Calculus, Home Ec, Kindergarten, Special Ed, etc. none of which I was qualified to teach.

* I have taught student how to put together a school paper and yearbook.

* I have sat through IEP meetings, faculty meetings, and conducted parent teacher conferences and done report cards

* I have gone on many field trips

* I have dealt with numerous sassy, disrespectful students

* I have confiscated more cell phones than you can imagine

* I have made hundreds of students spit out their gum

* While teaching a long-term kindergarten position, I had a child cut his hair with school scissors ON PICTURE DAY!

* Also on the same kindergarten assignment (it was all-day kindergarten) I had a student who consistently fell asleep during nap time and would become violent when I tried to wake him. When I suggested to his mother that he have an earlier bedtime, she told me that he already went to bed at 6:30.

* I had an 8th grade student throw up in the classroom. He was a very shy child and didn't want to interrupt while I was reading to them so he waited until I finished the chapter and then stood up to ask if he could leave the room and as he did, he errupted all over the place...the floor, backpacks, the desks. I herded the kids outside and then called the janitor. I almost lost it myself at that point.

* Last Fall we had a lockdown. There was a hostage situation in the neighborhood around the school so I was in lockdown with 30 7th graders for 2 hours. It's amazing how immediately upon locking the doors, every student was STARVING or HAD to go to the bathroom. As it turned out, we found out the next day that the whole hostage thing was a hoax. I wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper and said that a real punishment for such a hoax would be for the girl to have to sit in a locked room with a school full of middle school students who need to go to the bathroom.

* While walking across the cafeteria, I slipped on a banana peel and in true cartoon style, slipped with feet in the air and a hard fall on my fanny...in a dress...with a room full of middle school students watching me.

* While disciplining a misbehaving student who wouldn't hand over his cell phone, I said, "you can either give it to me now or go to A-S-S. (What I meant to say was I-S-S--in school suspension).

* I had a 7th grade student who had a failing grade because he was consistently forgetting to turn in homework. He promised me the next day he'd have all of his missing assignments. Next day came, no missing assignments. I took him out of the class and asked him if there was anything going on at home that I needed to know about or was there any specific reason he wasn't getting this done. If not, I told him, his grade would stand as is. When he left class that day, he slipped a note on my desk that said, Mrs. Benson, I am so sorry. I think I can explane now. I felt gilty and it led to feeling like a failure. But the point is I'm so sorry. P.S. I also have a crush on a girl.

* I had a very chatty group of 6th graders one time. On Mondays I always gave them a chance for their "Weekend Update"...it gave them an opportunity to get it all out of their system and they always tried to outdo each other with the most fun weekend.

*Some of the more successful teaching moments come through games. Here are a few of my favorites:

WHO WANTS TO BE A GENETICIST?

In an 8th grade science class while we were studying genetics, we played a review game based on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? The principal walked in while we were playing this and thought I was a genius. She even played with us for a few minutes.

NAME THAT WEATHER CONDITION

When we were starting a weather unit in a 7th grade science class, I had Jeff put together CD of songs with various weather conditions and the kids had to run up and hit a bell when they heard the weather condition mentioned. You'd be surprised how many songs have weather mentioned in them...snow, sunshine, rain, thunder, etc.

VOCABULARY ILLUSTRATIONS

I gave each student a white board and then said one of their vocab words. They had to illustrate it. Did you know you could illustrate words like curt, accord, gawdy? They had a lot of fun with this. I also used the white boards to help them with descriptive language. I said a sentence and left out the verb to see how creative they could be with it. For instance, "My teacher _____me how to write." Best response: learned.

AFTER THE MANNER OF THE ADVERB

Too long to explain the rules of the game but basically 2 students have to act out a scenerio "after the manner of the adverb" picked by the rest of the class. Do you know how hilarious it is to watch boys boxing--"girly", or robbing a bank "spastically"? This was a fun game!

All in all, it's been an interesting job; never a dull moment!

*I had more pictures that I scanned but couldn't post them.